Babywearing Myths

So many babywearing myths, so little time.  I could write pages debunking just one of these myths, and at some point I would like to do just that with each one, but for the sake of keeping this post manageable, I will try to be short and sweet and to the point.

Many myths persist around babywearing.  Some come from people that know nothing about babywearinmg, while many circulate among the babywearing community.  All of these myths hurt babywearing and scare off potential babywearers, so I think International Babywearing Week is the perfect time to shed some light on some of these misconceptions.  I will try to cover some of the common ones that many of us have heard and maybe even been guilty of repeating.

1. Babywearing will spoil your baby.
This one is something you can often hear from family and friends that think you are doing something wrong by wearing your baby.  They are worried that your child will always need to be held and carried forever!  The truth is that children that feel their needs are being met trust their parents more to meet their needs, so they actually end up more independent when they are old then babies that do not get their needs responded to in this way.  The whole concept of spoiling a baby by giving them too much love and affection is silly.  Do what feels right to you and your family.
For more info, read Spoiling by Dr. Sears


2. Carriers must fit knee to knee.
This is something I see all the time in the babywearing world.  This guideline was initially for people wrapping to make sure they created a supportive seat.  It has been incorrectly applied to buckle carrier (soft structured carriers) by well intending people trying to help people find more supportive carriers.  The problem with this guideline is that it is unnecessary and practically impossible to apply to buckle carriers.  Unlike wraps that require you to make a seat, buckle carriers have a seat that is structurally sound and safe without the need for this guideline.  The worst part is that this "rule" is often used to tell people their carrier is not good enough and they need a new one, but the window for a carrier actually fitting knee to knee is very short since we all know babies grow every time you blink!  There are many carriers that are still very supportive with toddlers even though they are no longer close to being knee to knee.  Your baby hasn't outgrown their carrier just because it no longer fits knee to knee and it isn't necessary to replace a carrier unless one or both of you are no longer comfortable in it.

3. Narrow seated baby carriers cause hip dysplasia.
This is a VERY controversial issue in the babywearing community and I am sure many people will not agree with me, but narrow seated carriers do not cause hip dysplasia.  First of all, if they did, we would be seeing a nation wide outbreak of babies with hip dysplasia since these are easily the most commonly used carrier in the US for some time now.  Now, this does not mean that the narrow seat in these carriers is ideal, it is much more comfortable and ergonomically ideal to wear a carrier with a wider seat.  But parents are being told that their carrier is dangerous and being made to feel they must stop using it immediately or risk damaging their baby.  These parents may completely stop babywearing because they can't afford a different carrier or spend the next several months not wearing so they can research what kind of carrier is best.  The worse thing is that in the rare case that a child does develop hip dysplasia, these parents are made to feel like they have caused it when in all likely hood, it was an undiagnosed issue that started long before their child was even born.  So yes, a narrow seated carrier could absolutely exacerbate an underlying condition, but it is very unlikely that a baby would spend enough time in one of these carriers to actually cause hip dysplasia.

For more information on this complex issue, read Healthy Hips - Busting Some Myths by Sheffield Sling Surgery

4. Forward facing out is bad for your baby.
Again, this is a very controversial issue.  I actually did a whole blog post on this called The Forward Facing Controversy.  Many people believe wearing baby in a carrier facing away from their parent is a black and white issue and you shouldn't do it ever.  Articles like this one by Boba point out some good reasons why wearing facing out is not ideal.  It is not the best ergonomic positions for either you or your baby and young babies can very easily get overstimulated in this position since they don't have the ability to look away or block stimuli other than to shut down and "fall asleep".  For this reason, I generally tell people not to wear facing out until their baby is older and to watch their baby for signs that they might be done and need to be turned around.  But I have seen new and exited babywearers being told that they are harming their baby by wearing them out and this extreme stance harms babywearing overall.  People carry their babies facing out int heir arms all the time and some babies even enjoy taking it all in!  So there is nothing wrong with letting your baby face out for short periods of time if your baby enjoys it.  It is likely going to be too uncomfortable for you to do it for long periods of time anyway.  Just watch your baby for signs that they are getting overstimulated; fussy, anxious, too excitable, squirmy, or even sleepy.  When they start showing any of these signs, turn them around and let them face you so they can choose if they want to look around or bury their face in your chest.

5. XYZ carrier is a bad carrier, you shouldn't use it.
This one makes me sad every time I see it.  It's usually a myth that comes from a well meaning experience babywearer towards someone that is new to babywearing.  There are definitely carriers out there that are not as comfortable or ergonomically ideal as others, but that doesn't make a carrier bad.  If a mom in your babywearing group posts a photo showing how excited she is to be wearing her sleeping baby, there is no reason to tell her how "horrible" her carrier is.  If she is comfortable and her baby is comfortable, then it works.  If she posts saying that her carrier hurts her back after 15 minutes, then by all means, tell her what brands you think are better.  But I have seen so many people get discourage because the baby carrier their friend loaned them or the one they got at their baby shower "isn't good enough".  Sometimes these people are able to get a "better" carrier, but sometimes they just walk away from babywearing, after all, they have a stroller that works perfectly fine.

6. Babywearing is dangerous.
With the rare exception of bag slings, which are dangerous and have been recalled, babywearing is NOT dangerous!  Unfortunately, this is a myth that gets perpetuated by both people that have no babywearing experience and babywearers alike.  People that don't understand the differences between styles believe all babywearing is dangerous because they lump bag slings in with babywearing in general.  But it is just as harmful to the babywearing community for active, experienced babywearers to paint such black and white lines on controversial issues, telling people that the are harming their baby.  They are sending a clear message that if you aren't doing it "right" then you are doing it "wrong" and could hurt your baby.  Of course, of someone is not safely using a carrier in the way a manufacture designed it to be used, then that is dangerous.  But using a narrow seated carrier should not be treated as a safety issue.

Be A Babywearing Myth Buster

Babywearing is about so much more than the carrier someone is using.  It's about the bond and benefits that babywearing provides to both the care giver and the baby.  Empowering new parents and nurturing their relationship with babywearing should be far more important to the babywearing community then making sure someone is using the most ideal carrier.  If they love babywearing, they will find a way to keep doing it when their old carrier gets less comfortable.  They will ask questions and learn more if they feel welcome, stick around and join in the conversation.  I would rather see a baby facing out in a narrow seated carrier than several feet out in front of their parents, facing out while being pushed in a stroller.  (NOT that I have an issue with strollers... I use them too!)   So I will never judge a parent for what they choose to wear their baby in and will honor them for making the choice to wear at all.

Check out our Golden Rule of Babywearing

The Forward Facing Controversy

There is a huge controversy over forward facing out while babywearing.  Having your baby facing away from you while babywearing is extremely taboo among much of the babywearing community.  Many babywearers believe this a horrible practice that should never be done, but like so many things in life, this issue is not as black and white as many believe.

One of the most famously linked articles against forward facing out is the Nine Reasons Not To Carry Your Baby Facing Out by Boba.  Wearing your baby facing out is not ideal for many reasons.  It is easy for very young babies to get overstimulated and they do not have the ability to look away from this stimulation while facing out.  It also is not very ergonomically ideal for the baby or the wearer.  It does not support baby's hips or spine very well and it changes your center of gravity by wearing something so far out in front of you.  Forward facing out is not something I personally like doing or recommending... but... I do not think forward facing out is as taboo as many believe.

Yes, a newborn with little to no head control and new to this world should not, in my opinion, be worn facing out.  It is just too hard to make sure baby's airway is open and that they are not overstimulated.  But at an older age, I do think some forward facing out can be okay.  And before you write me off or come after me with pitch forks, please hear me out.

Some babies just really like to be held facing out and if your arms are getting tired and you have a carrier that allows you to do a forward facing carry, then why wouldn't you use it and save your arms?  Most babies enjoying being held facing out to some degree and parents and caregivers hold babies like this all.the.time!  Babywearing is an extension of holding your baby.  It's a tool that allows you to keep your baby close and hold your baby when you otherwise might not be able to.  So I don't believe allowing your baby to face out while you wear them is a black and white issue, but I do think there is a huge gray area and you need to decide for yourself where you and your baby are at.

Theory VS Reality

In theory, wearing your baby facing in from the start can help your baby more easily accept being worn this way.  If your baby is content being worn facing in, there really is no reason to wear them face them out.  But some babies don't care if facing out is less than ideal, they insist on it anyway.

I don't like wearing my babies facing out... my first hated it, I never tried it with my second, but my third probably would have loved it.  She had excellent head control and by 8 weeks old, she had developed an habit of looking upside down to see what she was missing.  It looked awful and horrified many people while we were in public.  It was super embarrassing when people would run up to me at the grocery store and ask me if her head was okay.  I always reassured them that she was doing this herself, but they all just gave me the same disbelieving look, horrified of my apparent ignorance.  But I am her mother, I know she was alright.  She would literally fight me like crazy with those strong little neck muscles when I tried to get her to lift her head, pushing against my chest with little fists.  I am sure we made babywearing while facing in look far from ideal and facing out probably would have been much better for the PR of babywearing everywhere!

How's that for an arched back!  While facing in!

My baby grew out of the flip top head thing and was content to continue to being worn facing in, but some babies aren't as willing to let that go.  Though rare, some babies are just never content to be worn facing in, or will only do it when they are tired and ready to sleep.  But parents that have questions about facing out are often told it is "dangerous" and should never be done.  But theory doesn't always line up with reality and like most things in life, facing out is not as black and white as many believe.  There is room for facing out in certain situations, with certain babies, and for a certain amount of time.  There are things to be aware of when wearing facing out, reasons not to do it and things to watch for, but most people won't hear these and will either stop listening or stop babywearing, neither of which benefits anyone.

The Gray Area

One of the biggest things to consider is your baby's development and personality.  Young babies are easily overstimulated and overwhelmed when there is too much going on.  Being able to turn away from people and objects and bury their face in your chest or back is important for babies that can be easily overstimulated.  There is no magic age or time limit for which forward facing out is okay since all babies are different.  Some babies are just more introverted than others and will never like facing out.  Even if they don't get overstimulated while facing out, they may want to be able to escape when people come up to them or if there is suddenly a loud noise.  If your baby is content facing in, save yourself the trouble and just keep them that way!

Consider their age and size and physical development when deciding if you should wear them facing out.  Young babies with poor head control should be worn facing in to insure their head is properly supported at all times and their airway is open.  Older and bigger babies should be worn facing in to avoid the strain on your back caused by your center of gravity being unnaturally far forward.  If you or your baby has hip or spine issues, forward facing may or may not exacerbate this and you should consult your doctor.  But most babies will not be affected by the limited time they spend facing forward or we would have seen an epidemic of spinal issues caused by the abundance of forward facing carriers being used everyday.

If you decide to wear your little one facing out, make sure you stay tuned into your child's ques.  Watch them for signs of over stimulation.  If they begin to act fussy, squirming, moving head, zoning out, or "talking" more than usual, they may be done facing out.  You know your child best, so anything that seems unusual or a change in behavior usually indicates they have had enough sensory input.  This may be after 20 minutes, or maybe only 5.  It may also depend on where you are at and what is going on.  Your baby might like facing out at home, but get overwhelmed when shopping.

Also, don't let your baby sleep facing out.  First of all, getting sleepy and going to sleep can be a way for babies to cope with being overstimulated when they are unable to get away or decrease that stimulation.  Additionally, acing out does not offer adequate head support while a baby is sleeping.  So if your child is showing signs of getting tired or if it's close to nap time, face them towards you while babywearing.

I am not endorsing facing out while babywearing.  It is not something I personally encourage people to do since most babies get used to being worn facing in and can enjoy it when you walk around and give them things to look at.  High back carries can also allow babies to look around, but still give them the ability to control their stimulation by hiding their face if they choose.  But if your baby is as stubborn as my flip top head baby, it's okay, you CAN still wear them!  Your back might hurt and you might not wear them as often, but both of you can still enjoy babywearing.  Trust your gut and listen to your baby.  As always, be safe while babywearing.  Making sure you use your carrier properly is far more important than if your baby is facing in or out.

One more photo of the flip top baby... this time being held by daddy and not worn at all.

Here's another post about facing out that I found on the Beltway Babywearers blog, which is the Babywearing International chapter for the DC, MD, and VA area.